Feng Jin has been lonely all her life, and even her name carries a lonely color. She is a person standing on the edge of time, who can see all the scenery but cannot touch them. She floats in the corner of this world like the wind, and no one will notice her existence. She has never appeared in anyone’s eyes, and even she herself is confused whether she really exists.
Her life is silent, just like the stream that runs through the small village, flowing day after day, and never causing any waves. She has never pursued anything, nor has she thought about changing her destiny. She lives quietly and accepts everything quietly, until that day, she suddenly realizes that she is just an insignificant grain of sand in this world, and can never get rid of the swallowing of wind and sand.
Everyone says that Feng Jin is destined to be lonely, and her fate has been determined from the beginning. She can’t change all this, she can only find meaning in loneliness and find the voice that belongs to her. But no matter how hard she tries, that voice still doesn’t reach anyone’s ears.
“Fear crushes flesh and blood.” Feng Jin is not afraid of the outside world. She is afraid of the emptiness in her heart and the loneliness that has nowhere to go. In the dark, she often walks alone on unknown paths, as if all roads lead to unknown abysses. And every step, she is struggling, trying to break free from the invisible shackles that bind her. She is afraid that she will be swallowed by this endless emptiness, and that she will be completely lost in these long years.
She often asks herself in the mirror, who is she? What is the meaning of her life in this world? She doesn’t know the answer, because this question is too heavy, and she doesn’t even dare to delve into it. She once thought that she was some kind of existence, the carrier of some mysterious power, but gradually, she found that she was just a passerby, and every road she walked left no trace. Her life is just a small drop of water in the long river of time, and like countless other drops of water, it eventually disappears in the endless flow.
Feng Jin’s heart is full of countless contradictions. She longs for warmth and someone who can understand her, but she is afraid of people who are close to her. The sense of distance makes her both painful and eager. She wants to escape, but she can’t find the exit. Her world is like an endless maze. Every time she tries to get out, she is surrounded by deeper darkness. She has been looking for a way out, but she finds that no matter how she goes, she always goes back to the same place.
“Courage tears the chest.” Feng Jin once tried to live bravely and tried to break through the wall in her heart. However, she found that all the courage disappeared without a trace when she encountered the cold reality. She thought she could walk out of this endless darkness, but in the end she found that she was just a coward who avoided reality. Her courage is like a piece of fragile glass, which will shatter with a slight touch.
She tried to find those dreams that once moved her heart, and tried to pursue those goals that others thought were worth pursuing, but every time she felt powerless. She knew that she never really had the courage to do things that dared to break through the shackles of fate. Her heart is always wrapped in an invisible membrane, and any change seems so fragile and unpredictable.
“Glory baptizes the body.” Feng Jin has never pursued the so-called glory. She knows that she can’t bear that dazzling light, and she doesn’t want to be the focus of all eyes. She always thinks that living a quieter and more ordinary life is the best choice. She doesn’t want to fight with those brilliant people, but only hopes that she can live an undisturbed life in that quiet corner. She doesn’t need the evaluation of the outside world, nor does she need the praise of others. Her glory, as early as the moment she was born, was destined to be out of her reach forever.
She never longed to be a hero in the eyes of others, nor did she want to be the person who was always admired. She just wanted to live a down-to-earth and warmer life. However, this warmth is always so far away, as if there is always a layer of fog blocking her connection with the outside world. She knows that she is destined not to have that kind of brilliant future, and can only spend a long time alone in this blank world.
“Thoughts are seeds, and manas sprouts.” Feng Jin often thinks about life quietly in the deserted night. She doesn’t want to pursue more, nor does she want to reflect on the past. She knows that everything is destined and she can’t change her fate. She doesn’t have the courage to resist, and can only accept it silently. Her life, like a long-rotten straw, drifts in the wind, leaving nothing behind.
She lives so ordinary, so ordinary that she can hardly see her existence. She tried to make some changes, but every time she was blocked by the iron wall of reality. She found that she was like a fly that couldn’t get out of trouble. No matter how she flew, she couldn’t fly out of that dead corner.
“Footprints of fate.” Feng Jin finally understood that fate had set a trajectory for her from the beginning. She couldn’t change her ending, and could only walk silently on this established road. She no longer had any hope for the future, nor did she expect any changes. She knew that her fate had long been wiped out by the torrent of time and became one of the countless passing footsteps.
She once had many dreams and many expectations for the future, but in the end, these dreams gradually disappeared in her heart as the years passed. She knew that she was just an insignificant passer-by, unable to change anything, and unable to go further on this road.
Feng Jin’s life was like the silent land, without ups and downs, without changes. Perhaps no one had ever cared about her existence. Every day of her life was like a falling dead leaf, quietly blending into the dust.